Is it so wrong that for once – just once, goddammit – I want to be put first, that other people will work something around me instead of me making time for them, that when I ask they say yes without ‘but first we do this’, that someone will do for me what I have been doing for everybody else, that I will come first and matter more than anyone or anything, is that too much, is that so bad, is it so selfish to ask that, is it so wrong to ask that they make me feel like I actually matter to them

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